


This Isn't The Right Exit

by PastelBun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Sam and Dean bitch at each other about who is grosser, Somewhere In Season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 02:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6035263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelBun/pseuds/PastelBun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam and Dean bitching at each other in their natural habitat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Isn't The Right Exit

**Author's Note:**

> ////shrugs warnings for mentioned gross stuff i guess like puke and stuff. nothing is described in detail but I thought I'd mentioned it just incase  
> (t-rating for mild language and brief mentions of sex and masturbation)

“This isn’t the right exit.” Dean groans from the passenger seat, shifting himself into a more upright position. Sam startles a bit at the sound of Dean’s voice. He’s been asleep—or so Sam thought—for the past 20 minutes and Sam expected Dean to be out longer. “We’re not supposed to get off here.”

“I was thinking maybe we’d find a motel and stop for the night.” Sam suggests cautiously.

“If you’re tired I’ll just take over dude. There’s no reason to waste money on a motel when I can drive.”

“Dean.”

“Sam.”

“…”

“Dude, just turn left and get back on the high way up ahead or pull over and let me drive.”

“…”

“The hell are you turning right for?”

“…”

“Sam? Come on.”

“…”

“You’re still salty about me puking on your jeans. I get it.”

“…”

“It’s not like I didn’t fuckin' warn you.”

“…”

“Sammy, come on. I’m fine.”

“…”

“Honestly, I think you should be thanking me because I gave you an excuse to get away from that old lady who was hornin' after your ass.”

“…”

“My stomach sensed your distress and it did everything it could in its power to save you from the world's thirstiest grandma.”

“…”

“You’re not allowed to even be grossed out, man.”

“…”

“You know who changed your crappy diapers Sam? I’ll give you a hint: It wasn’t Dad.”

“…”

“You owe me a free pass or whatever because when you were little you were like a shitting machine or something.”

“Dean.”

“I’m serious. I mean, people say all babies do is cry and crap themselves and they _really aren’t kidding_. You were no exception.”

“ _Dean._ ”

“And if I had to change like a million of your p—”

“Dean! Seriously!”

“What? I’m just sayin’ that’s at least 90 times grosser than me puking on you.”

“Yeah. Okay. Whatever. But that’s not the point. You're si—”

“No. It’s my point. You’re more disgusting than me.”

“Hah." Sam laughs huffily. "Yeah? Because you pick your nose and wipe it on people when you think they’re not looking. Including me!”

“You leave the toilet seat up and don’t flush!”

“You stuck your hand down your pants and then called Castiel and asked him to shake your hand. And after he did you laughed for 10 minutes like an immature 4th grader.”

“I can’t ever shower after you because you leave your long-ass hairs all over the place.”

“Sometimes when you get drunk you pee on everything to claim it as yours. You peed on Cas, Dean.”

“When you throw shit at the trash and it misses you just let it sit there on the floor and don’t bother to pick it up. That's how you get fuckin' ants Sam.”

“Every time get sick you can’t go 5 minutes without getting your snot on everything; _especially me_.”

“You’d wear the same pair socks for a goddamn month if I didn’t do friggin’ laundry.”

“You watched porn. In _MY BED_. AND DIDN’T EVEN THINK TO CHANGE THE SHEETS!”

“Ha… okay. You got me there. That was my bad Sammy.” Dean smiles a little, licking his lips and remembering that specific film. “Was some _good_ shit though…”

“You have _YOUR OWN_ room in the bunker Dean. Your own room and a laptop! Why the hell did you have to do it in _MY ROOM_!?”

“The TV is bigger and I can stream to it with my laptop and…”

Sam groans, running a hand over his face as he pulls into the motel.

“I hate you.”

“Love you too, bitch.”

“Jerk.”


End file.
